“Moscow Bans Protest Against Political Repressions ‘Due to Lack of Political Repressions'”

So reads a headline in The Onion RT.com today:

The Moscow authorities have refused to grant permission for a rally against “political repressions” and “violations of human rights,” saying that state law does not recognize such a phenomenon in the country.
The application to hold the event was rejected by the authorities on the grounds that the “current law does not provide any measures used by the state for repression based on political motives,” the official refusal letter reads.

The letter further explained, “in accordance to the Constitution of the Russian Federation, the government guarantees equal rights and freedom of the individual.” The letter also said that the constitution rejects any forms of violation of human rights based on “social, racial, national, language or religious affiliation.” The constitution also guarantees judicial protection….

The rally was to take place on Saturday near the Pushkinskaya Metro station to protest the prosecution of … at least 18 people charged over the unrest at a protest on the eve of Vladimir Putin’s inauguration for a third presidential term. Only one person has faced trial so far, and was jailed for four and a half years after admitting to assaulting police.

Thanks to Fred Smalkin for the pointer.