Who Are You?

So who the heck are you folks? Are you mostly lawyers? Techies? Professional procrastinators like us? Dead Roman males? Neighbors who are trying to ruin our opium-inspired works of genius?

Yeah, yeah, I know the comments aren't going to be remotely representative; yeah, yeah, I know you could be lying; but if you'd like, drop us some pithy lines about who you are and why you're here. Special bonus if you are in strange lines of business, strange places, or dogs.