Top 10 Questions To Ask During Law Firm Interviews:
It's callback season at law firms around the country, and that means thousands of law students are donning suits and interviewing for summer associate positions. The most awkward part of most interviews comes near the end, when the attorneys in charge run out of things to say and fallback on an old standard: "So, do you have any questions for me?" Most law students don't know how to respond. I thought I would help out by recommending some good questions to ask:
1. "How would you describe the atmosphere here — Is it more like a labor camp or a slave ship?"
2. "I heard there was this guy who came here and only billed like three hours a week. They say it took the firm two years to kick him out, and they gave him a nice bonus to leave, too. Is that true?"
3. "Is it as bad as they say?"
4. "No. Should I?"
5. "I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"
6. "Is your managing partner qualified to be on the Supreme Court?"
7. "Is there a bathroom on this floor?"
8. "How many partners here are still on their first wives?"
9. "Where am I? All of these firms look alike."
10. "Where else are you interviewing?"
These are just suggestions, of course. Other ideas welcome in the comment section. (Thanks to a colleague for Question #1.)
UPDATE: I forgot this bonus question for current judicial clerks: "How long do I have to stay before I can keep all of my clerkship bonus?"
1. "How would you describe the atmosphere here — Is it more like a labor camp or a slave ship?"
2. "I heard there was this guy who came here and only billed like three hours a week. They say it took the firm two years to kick him out, and they gave him a nice bonus to leave, too. Is that true?"
3. "Is it as bad as they say?"
4. "No. Should I?"
5. "I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"
6. "Is your managing partner qualified to be on the Supreme Court?"
7. "Is there a bathroom on this floor?"
8. "How many partners here are still on their first wives?"
9. "Where am I? All of these firms look alike."
10. "Where else are you interviewing?"
These are just suggestions, of course. Other ideas welcome in the comment section. (Thanks to a colleague for Question #1.)
UPDATE: I forgot this bonus question for current judicial clerks: "How long do I have to stay before I can keep all of my clerkship bonus?"
"So, how'd I do?"
"Is the firm's suite at Wrigley or Comiskey?"
"The firm seems very impressive, and I'm concerned you won't have enough made up busywork for your summer associates. Should I be?"
"About keeping track of our time in ten minute increments. Can't we just round up to the nearest hour? We can bill more that way!"
"I understand telecommuting is an option. Can you tell me more about how that works?"
Does anyone here know how to practice law?
How many layers of review are necessary before you can file a procedural motion, at least 10?
Will I be allowed in the same room as a client? How about if there's a client walking down the hall, can I take a look-see?
2. Glare at them and say, “I’m deeply offended at the question.” Then whatever they say next, respond, “Why, that’s even more insulting!”
3. “Suppose I start working for you, and then I get a better offer a year from now. Will there be lingering bitterness if I use your firm as a mere stepping stone?”
4. “Let’s just cut to the chase here. How can I help you help me help you?”
5. “The rule against perpetuities – what’s up with that?”
6. “Do you keep a cup of nice and tasty hot coffee brewing all day?” Then smack your lips and go “Ahhh!”
7. “I’m claustrophobic, and I can’t work in a cubicle. I have to work in a very large office. Can you accommodate my disability?”
8. “That’s an interesting hairstyle. What is it? Is it ‘modern’”?
9. “Tell me, what do you really think about Marbury v. Madison? My take on it: Damned if you do, damned if you don’t! That’s what I say!”
10. “How’s the food?”
11. “What’s your favorite poem?”
12. “Do you provide time for websurfing? And is that billable to the clients, or do I charge that to your account?”
"Do you get to see your children much?"
"There's not a drug test or anything, is there?"
1. I'll agree to teach philosophy of law and contracts but am not interested in anything else. Is that a problem?
2. It'll take me a couple of months to move. Is it okay if I miss the first few weeks of the semester?
3. Another school has hinted that they'd have a slot for my husband. Would you match that offer?
4. I won't shake your hand until I see the actual numbers of the offer, if you don't mind.
"You're not going to run a background check on me, right?"
"How many years do I need to work here before I can lateral to a more pretigious firm?"
"Did you ever meet Tucker Max? He's my boy!"
Now that I've been out for a few years, some questions that come to mind are:
"How much errors and omissions coverage do you have?"
"How many fraternizing relationships between attorneys and support staff lead to sexual harrassment suits?"
"Am I expected to check my Blackberry at 3:15 a.m.?"
"When I spend twenty hours writing the notes and putting together the PowerPoint slides for a partner's seminar presentation, how does that REALLY count toward my hours?"
I love all of the 1st and most of all the additions. I am still giggling and my wife will be sure that I found the key to the booze cabinet in her absence.
Questions not to ask when meeting members of the firm's executive committee:
1. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
2. Do all lawyers go bald?
3. Say I have a "friend" who's embezzling money from the law firm where he's a summer associate. Is that so bad?
4. What's the absolute fewest number of hours an associate can work, and still not get fired?
5. Is that your wife, or your grandmother?
6. Is that your wife, or your granddaughter?
7. Do you really not have control over your bowels, or is that just a rumor?
8. You didn't pick out that tie yourself, did you?
9. I forget, how many justices are on the Supreme Court?
10. How about you pay me in cash, and then neither of us have to report it on our taxes?
In fairness to myself, I should point out that it was usually obvious within a few seconds that it was a joke.
1. Will the size of the book shelves in my office depend on my title or on the number of books I need to do the job?
2. If you move a department with four executives to a floor that has five executive-quality offices, does some lucky staff member get the good office or do you remodel it back to the lower quality level even though that costs more?
3. If you can't afford to remodel the office in question 2, do you move the copy machine in there rather than give it to a non-executive?
4. Hypothetical question: If there's not enough money in the budget for more filing cabinets, but meanwhile we're buying another company, can we have their filing cabinets?
5. Everyone working in this office has a college degree and has passed a background check. If I go to the restroom, will I find that the toilet paper is inside a gadget that allows you to pull the paper out the bottom, but requires a key to open, because you don't trust your employees with unlocked rolls of toilet paper?
This is a classic question in estimating and approximation -- a discipline that engineers would have reason know about. The question is an example of a Fermi problem, named for the Italian physicist Enrico Fermi who studied it. You can read more about it here.
Only one question was posed to the group: which one of you is really #1 in your class?
Yes the question was only a way to see if a candidate could think on their feet.
BTW, he got the job.
Nick
See whether they 1) look at you confused because you used an term they had not heard before; or 2) have security remove you for mentioning something that doesn't fatten their wallets.