In South Carolina, a mother had her 12-year old son arrested for unwrapping a gift early. Mom is 27. The boy's great-grandmother is 63. The mother said she's unable to control her child, who's been in trouble before, and wants to the juvenile justice system to take over.
When I was writing on welfare reform for the San Jose Mercury News, I interviewed a mother who'd gotten her son arrested for writing gang graffiti on her notebook. He was 12 too and out of control. She didn't know what to do to get his attention. The arrest got the boy a parole officer, who signed him up for Little League. He traded gang life for baseball and football. Last I heard he was close to a high school diploma and thinking about enlisting in the Marines. The mother, who'd gone on welfare at 17 when her first child was born, has been working happily for many years now.
Nothing much new here, IMO....
Reading the article, what I found telling was that he had been arrested before for disorderly conduct after PUNCHING a police officer.
Somehow I doubt having him arrested and immediately released for petty larceny is going to make any dramatic impact in this kid's life.
Here's a thought, stop buying the little bastard any toys at all, much less a portable video game system.
If you do the math the girl was 15 at this kids birth
You got that right. Not surprising at all.
Not that I'd recommend people call the cops for things like this. Here in the Portland area we've had too many recent instances of police being called into a family dispute and killing someone.
Best,
Ben
(this in reference to paragraph two, about the parole officer, little league, mom's work history, etc.)
I can think of several possible points; the trouble is that all the ones I can think of are fallacious and it really isn't fair to criticize someone for propounding a fallacy when I might have just misread him.
On the other hand, it isn't fair for a commentator to omit his point so that just in case anyone pokes holes in it, he can maintain plausible deniability that that actually was his point.
After the trial, they sought him out for the full story. Yep, when young he had robbed some banks. Police arrested him and, as was sometimes done back then, told him he could go to prison or enlist in the military. He chose the latter and they marched him down to the recruiter's office. The drill officers beat some discipline into him, and he wound up liking the military life.
He wound retiring with a captain's commission and pension, married, set up his own insurance agency, and was doing quite well. But, he said, if it hadn't been for the military, he'd have died on the streets or in prison many years ago.
i've probably been to several dozen "parenting by police" calls e.g. kid refuses to go to school, kid refuses to listen to parent, etc.
i have NEVER (not once in over a decade, that i can remember) ever had a father, or a father-mother combo (so to speak) call me the police for that sort of thing.
it has always been the single mom, in my experience. n=(several dozen)
Just another example, however small, of how the breakdown of the family places greater burden on the taxpayers.
Unforetunately, today's society is more likely to pat a woman on the back for bad life choices in the pursuit of self-esteem.
I am sure you guys just love calls such as this one.
I think the story is very sad. Sometimes a kid can be saved, if someone with authority intervenes. Usually not.
Juvenile sex offender cases are perhaps the most sad. I've seen a few files, and the kid tends to be doing to younger kids would someone else had done to him or her. And now, this victim-turned-offender is publicly labeled a sex offender, has to register, and will find it very hard to make a life.
I'm glad a referal to the juvenile justice system worked for one kid Ms. Jacobs knows. But parents who intentionally send their kids into the system are most likely making things worse. Sending your kid to the juvenile authorities is perilously close to child abuse.
Seriously, probation offiers and child parole officers may work in some places, but in any system that is bursting at capacity -say any large metropolitan area with significant youth/adoloescent crime- you might as well hand the kid a future prison address and an orange jumpsuit- cuz 80% of the time - that will be the " feel-good" happy result. Assuming of course the kid lives that long.
Extend it further; each generation has a child at 20; suddenly a 60 year old great-grandmother doesn't seem so outrageous either.
Call me when the great-grandmother is 42-- then I'll be outraged.
In many states, a juvenile can receive a "status offense." It's not a code violation (like robbery or drug possession); it allows the court to officially list a minor's status as a juvenile delinquent, thereby putting the minor into some institution. The institution might be residential, or the minor might live at home and report to counselling--all depends on the judge and the systems in place. My guess is that the cases Jacobs refers to are all status offenses. In that sense, the minor isn't arrested for unwrapping a present or using a salad fork on an entree, but is arrested for the status of being a juvenile delinquent.
One of the things I enjoy about reading blogs instead of the newspaper is that editors rarely print the letter where someone points out that your saved-by-parole Hallmark story is mere anecdote (and that you'd have included stats if you actually had them to back up a theory that all junior needs is male figure in his life), or counter-anecdote from the guy that turned out OK, better even, once Mom threw out the abusive drunk who sired him.
The trick here is that the story isn't really backing up a theory that the boy needs a male figure. In fact, it isn't backing up any sort of theory, because it isn't stating a theory.
And as I've pointed out, failing to state one's point is often a sleazy tactic used to avoid criticism--whenever someone refutes your point, just claim that they got the point wrong.
And it's not even that hard to fairly express a contrary view. Try this: "Joanne, I'm not sure what your point is. If you're trying to argue that children need male role models, I disagree because of X, Y, and Z. Your story is merely anecdotal, and I doubt it's representative."
It could be that there is simply so much evidence that she assumed you would not place the burden of proving generally known propositions on the person making them.
Or it would take too much space to post.
http://www.umm.edu/news/releases/fathers2.html Just one piece of evidence.
Extend it further; each generation has a child at 20; suddenly a 60 year old great-grandmother doesn't seem so outrageous either.
Call me when the great-grandmother is 42-- then I'll be outraged.
If that was directed at me, I wasn't passing judgment. I'm just saying that you have to admit that already being a great-grandmother for nine years when you turn 60 is pretty remarkable.
3 generations of 17 y.o. mothers yields a 60 y.o great grandma with a 9 y.o. grat grandchild. Not great, but common in most cultures through well, today.
"If you're trying to argue that..." isn't a single possibility. There are lots of possibilities, some of which are just slightly altered or generalized versions of other ones, and enumerating them would be ridiculous.
If I just say what you suggest, the reply is likely to be "well, I never said that the story proves children need male role models."
As to the role of parents, I agree that they are crucial to keeping kids out of trouble. Any experienced public defender will tell you that we rarely have clients who came from two-parent families. Do I have stats to back that up? No. But it's a sad reality of public defender practice.
Finally, I want to soften my child abuse statement above. I'm sure there are some places where the juvenile system functions well. And even in the worst systems, you will find the occasional oasis of professionalism.
But parents who sends their kids into the juvenile justice system need to understand that the system can be cruel and destructive. Absent a threat to someone's physical safety, parents need to think long and hard before forcing their kid to run the juvenile "justice" gauntlet.