Via Drudge, this story from England is about a teacher who is in trouble because she told her nine-year-old student that Father Christmas doesn't exist. The teacher seemed to think they already knew that, but apparently some didn't.
Being Jewish, I'm not much up on these things, but I'd have thought that the Santa thing pretty much dissipated by age six or seven, at the latest; even if the parents tried to maintain the legend longer, I'd think that some combination of (a) the children's own intelligence; (b) children whose parents told them the truth telling their friends that Santa doesn't exist; and (c) t.v. and other media (don't they notice that Santa looks different depending on which actor plays him?) would not let it survive.
So, V.C. readers, enlighten me: when do kids stop believing in Santa?
I know longer believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I don't like it when people destroy the delusions under which I'm living.
I've got a 9-year-old who for several years has understood real versus made up (and he had no way of knowing, except asking me, that unicorns and dragons are made up but kangaroos and elephants are real -- I don't think I've ever seen an actual kangaroo, unless the Bronx Zoo had them in the 1970s and I forgot) -- for a few years he's been asking me "Is Santa Claus real?" (He's not stupid, and he realizes that he gets fewer presents in years when I have less cash, and I do a lot of carrying boxes and wrapping in the days before) but I get to cop-out and say "I don't know about such things, ask your mother."
This year I finally used a co-worker's cop-out: "It's your choice, but if you say you believe in Santa Claus then you will get presents from him".
I figured it out at age 4, when I snuck downstairs and Santa wasn't there at midnight. I never did understand how one Santa could deliver toys simultaneously to every house in the neighborhood, and beyond, all at the same time (midnight).
A child who still believes in Santa at age 9 may need special education.
It really depends on if the child is a first or only or if there are older siblings involved.
My son was born on the leading edge of a mini-baby boom period. Thus, most of the kids he went to school with during those vulnerable "spill the beans" years (K-2), were, like him, without older siblings. That meant they believed in Santa for longer than I would have guessed and longer than kids who had older siblings to spoil the illusion.
I also agree with David Chesler that believing and not wanting to spoil the illusion are two different things.
My family moved back and forth between El Salvador and the US.
In El Salvador, I was told the Baby Jesus delivered the presents. I concluded the job was too big for one person, so different people were assigned the present distribution.
I find it difficult to fathom why anybody believes any of it at any age. I never did.
When my one-year-older, and ever so much more worldly, cousin told me, I confronted my parents. They confessed but made me promise not to tell anyone else, and I didn't, except for my best friend. :)
age of disbelieve? around 6-7.
I can recall older kids shushing someone when they declared there was no santa claus in the presence of a younger sibling, around 5 years old, so as not to blow it for the kid.
In my family, there were gifts from "Santa" but also ones from "Mom &Dad" So after they did their shopping they'd hide the gifts. Every year I would sneak around looking to find the hidden gifts to learn what I'd get ahead of time. If I found some of these hidden gifts, I'd only look at a few to satiate my curiosity, but leave the rest as suprises (and I figured if I rummage around too much, I'd leave evidence of my snooping).
One year (I may have been 7, give or take a few years) saw a gift that they'd gotten me, that when I got it on Christmas, it was from "SANTA". I put 2 and 2 together and figured it out.
She is not in special education, and was a near 4.0 student. I really don't get it.
Nobody tell my parents about that.
It may be 30 years later, but there's no statute of limitations on shame... ;)
Anyway, aside from that longwinded explanation of why I, as a Jewish child, believed in "Santa," the point is that as a 9 year old I more or less knew that he didn't exist, but I really wanted to cling to the idea that he did. Thus, I played along with my parents. We all knew what was up, but we still had the ritual, and somehow I still ended up being surprised at the presents. It would have sucked if some kill-joy teacher ruined that for me.
Don't go there :-)
It's time for Orin, David, Ilya, Randy, and the others to stop perpetuating the myth of Sasha's "older brother".
But in my family have always just pretended, and not just the kids get what we call "Santa presents." Other than a few not talked about 4 am collisions on the staircase, we maintain a careful code of silence on this matter at all age levels. But maybe this is just because we are used to pretending we believe in things we don't.
Good training for the children if you ask me.
He also apparently got Bill Clinton, John Kerry, Al Gore, the CIA, other US intelligence agencies, Tony Blair, the intelligence services of Britain, Russia, France, Jordan, etc. to believe that as well. In fact, even while he was still governor of Texas, he apparently was able to somehow convince President Clinton to not only bomb Iraq, but also to sign the Iraq Liberation Act.
Agreed. Or younger siblings. As for the "common sense thinking" rational, I suspect you are coming at this from an adult's perspective. Or a culturally wisened 21st Century youngster. Think of how many situations in a child's life is blind faith in ideas like that. They're not all skeptical by nature
If you live in a home that keeps the tv off -- you can raise kids who are not educated in modern copyright characters. They know of Santa the stories at home, and not all kids are wise to the mechanics of travelling across the globe in one night, etc. Eating all those plates of cookies and milk/egg nog, apples for Rudolph, etc.
I think it's polite for parents to remind children when confirming that it is them and not Santa who provide the gifts, that this is not something to talk about with younger children who might still belive. Kids are kids, of course, but sometimes when you give them good instruction and point out that those children's parents might want to keep playing along with the Santa story, they take away a deeper message about manners and respect.
Now the joke is, seh DOES really believe in the Tooth Fairy - partly because of a great book we got, that explained that the tooth fairy looks EXACTLY like a parent or someone you love, due to magic. Got caught once, and she STLL believes
I think it's partly do to making her 5 YO brother happy...
My 11-year-old almost certainly does not believe in Santa, but he knows his mother likes him to believe; so we all talk about "Santa."
[Insert remark on language games here. In fact, there's a dissertation waiting to be written on Moore, Wittgenstein, and Santa.]
I would just as soon he confess his disbelief; we can then start deceiving his 2-year-old brother as a family unit.
The whole thing is bizarre, really -- imagine trying to explain to a Martian why you teach your small kids to believe in Santa.
Also, you have to respect that each family has variations to the myth. For example, The variances in mall Santas -- assuming your children are raised in malls -- and on tv, no the kids aren't stupid. Parents often say these are "Santa's Helpers" -- or Santa stand-ins for the real guy who is resting up getting reading for the big midnight journey... Only 5 days to go! Those elves must be cranking out the toys by now. Wouldn't it be great if you got the train, or car set you've been waiting for all year ??
Maybe the fun and joy are worth it; sometimes I think it must be sad to be so smart about everything.
The fantasy world is a much more pleasant place in which to live.
I'm not the kind of parent who worries that spanking my kids will damage their self esteem, but I do try to give them a happy childhood so later on they know how good things can be and they know what to strive for (and they take good care of my genetic material when my grandchildren are carrying it.)
Editorial Page, New York Sun, 1897
We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus? Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
And I am aware that applying that analysis plus Occam's Razor to my own religious beliefs would yield unpleasant results, so I don't. See figure 1.
Thanks guys. You've just crushed another spirit.
From what I understand, if you send this "Eugene Volokh" $27, he will send you a book with his signature. That's probably not proof enough, because it could just be the same thing that the USPS does when you send a letter to Santa. Dammit.
However, once when I was a kid, my friends and I turned off the lights, put on a candle, and said "Eugene Volokh" 5 times into the mirrow. I swear, he appeared, for like a second or two, we saw him.
Yes, Colin, there is a "Eugene Volokh!" I have seen him, if only once. But then you have no way of knowing if I really exist and am not a sock puppet of Orin, David, Ilya, or some other conspirator.
Yep, make-believe never quite disappears, it just changes. Sort of like kids' toys versus adult toys.
I figured out the easter bunny when I woke up early and saw my grandfather hiding the eggs in the garden. Then of course the Christkind, that's what they have in Germany, never was the same again either. I still remember my profound disappointment. I was about 7 or 8. Christmas and Easter are some of the fondest childhood memories. My ever-lasting thanks to my family, especially my late grandparents who put it on so beautifully.
David,
The Santa Clause is located in most contracts after the sanity clause but before the integration clause.
Something for nothing?? Something for nothing?!
Obviously, you were the kinds of little boys who were perfect angels, not a crabby little brat in the dark days of December, inclined to fight with your siblings and procrastinate in your homework and chores.
As I recall, there was a hell of a lot of something given for the "free gifts". Santa's watching and all that ho ho ho.
Not saying it's wrong to raise your children Santa-free btw. Can definitely understand that view. Just arguing, or explaining rather, that it's not just wack-jobs who legitimately believe after 6 or 7.
My own son is in first grade (just turned 7) and he still believes in Santa. He's starting to ask some hard questions, though, so I think this will be the last year for him.
I think between 7-9 is good, depending on the kid and how they are starting to see the world.
The Santa Clause is located in most contracts after the sanity clause but before the integration clause.
You'd need a choice of law / jurisdiction clause too, since it's not obvious that a North Pole resident (and presumably non-citizen) who distributes gifts in the US one day per year is purposefully availing.
It was a great deal of fun actually. I tried to stay up every christmas eve to prove their wasn't a santa but of course my parents could always just wait till I finally fell asleep and I always ended up happily frustrated.
What really boggled me is when I was sure I was going to prove the Easter bunny didn't take the teeth from under my pillow via magic. I got an envelope put my tooth in it, sealed it and wrote all over it before putting it under my pillow. When I found it in the morning with money instead of a tooth inside (my dad had steamed it open) I was totally stumped. It didn't change my skeptical stance but it sure stumped me.
If you look at it rationally, it's clear Virginia wanted to know whether there is a Santa Claus in the same sense that there is a South Carolina or a Samuel Clemens. The response was a bit of fancy wording which answered Virginia's question in a way that is technically accurate (it does say whether there is a Santa Claus), but obviously wasn't the question she was trying to ask (whether Santa exists as an actual person).
The kid asked an adult authority figure a question, and expected to get one. Instead the adult decided to violate the trust kids put in adults and give a non-answer phrased to mislead the kid into thinking it was an answer.
A mystical being resides in the sky (North Pole), who is always watching us, and cares about whether we are good or bad. We don't really know what puts us on one list or another, and are not really sure how we get off one once we are placed on it. Depending on this list, determines if we are rewarded (Heaven, gifts, etc) or punished (hell, coal, etc). To me, there is just as much evidence for Santa as their is God.
That's really funny, coming from a guy whose sn is logicnazi. Somehow reminds me of when Dr. Evil spoke of his childhood."When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really."
The range on the high side might have been around 10 when I was a kid, but it seems to me 7 or 8 is about right now. Isn't age seven the age of reason, like when you realize Santa's writing is exactly like Mom's writing and Mom's explanation has an air of desperation in it?
Even so, I'd say there's more of an evolution than some stark line between belief and disbelief. Call it a makebelieve middle where the knowledge has been aquired but was squirreled away because the fact is not really relevant and you join the reality of Santa having a life of his own that is not related to whether you know the "truth" about Santa, but is more about family and then, later, tradition and community.
I'd guess that all of the nine year-olds in that class knew already in one form or another. The rumor is rampant in that age group but family understanding is the barrier and the glue for remaining skeptical of it. Having the teacher confirm, in the form of instruction, was the real problem for both the children and the parents.
Personally, I had given into the understanding that Santa wasn't real at about the same time as my peers, but then my older sister and I actually saw the silhoutte of Santa in his sleigh riding across the sky just before midnight on Christmas Eve. It was vivid, distinct and real. We could count the reindeer. He was ho-ho-ho'ing, too. Seriously. Really. No lie. Ask my sister. She still remembers it as clearly as I do, these many long years since.
Santa lives and don't believe anyone who says otherwise, especially some crackpot, 'know-it-all' fifth grade teacher.
Nice.
The kid asked an adult authority figure a question, and expected to get one.
Sometimes kids ask questions that contain unstated assumptions, and a straight yes or no is not possible. ("Daddy, when you were a kid, did your parents restrict what internet sites you could visit?" [We didn't have broadband in those days. They tried, but the dinosaurs kept biting through the wires.])
There *is* a Eugene Volokh. I sat in a classroom with him once a week for an entire semester of law school. Unfortunately, since you can't know that I'm real or that I'm telling the truth, my testimony doesn't do you skeptics much good.
I had strong evidence that Santa was sufficiently unreliable as to cause a preference for his non-existence when I was perhaps 6 or 7 years old (having two separate households, and two separate Santa experiences annually -- including having half my presents arrive by post in mid-December -- was a strong contributing factor) but I don't remember flipping to being a willing participant in "keeping the magic alive" for my younger siblings by not spilling the beans and/or actively lying about Santa, until I was 13. I was, incidentally, a very proactive and almost blind actor in the drama: all four of my younger siblings stopped believing at least two years before I realized they had done, and all but the youngest were actively propagating the Santa myth to younger children before the age of 10. I was actually quite crushed when the youngest sister in each household stopped believing, and inordinately pleased when my parents and step-parents continued to mark selected presents "from Santa" (my dad still sends me some gifts marked "from Santa" in the mail, and I'm 26.)
However, I was also a relatively superstitious kid, though -- I was into jumping over every crack in the street and throwing salt over my shoulder, and I got all of that stuff from kids at school, rather than my parents. I was also very sheltered (I mostly watched Jeopardy and Perry Mason on TV,) and a big adult-pleaser, and except for a few weeks every year, older than all my siblings by 6 or more years.
I don't remember when I figured it out, first or second grade. I remember that it was great fun helping wrap gifts from him for my younger siblings.
Or how said Bishop relates to the modern mythos of Santa Claus?
For the record, an older brother let me in on the secret between my 6th and 7th years. But certain traditional reading material for the family celebration of Advent includes one story about St. Nicholas. And my parents have read from that same set of readings every year for as long as I can remember.
Extra Question: what is Advent? Who typically celebrates it?
He might still believe in global warming though.
Is there more to the story? Are there signs (spent shell casings?) that Eugene Volokh has been to your house to deliver presents?
Should we leave out some special treat like the text of the 1st Amendment? Or a poorly written law review article that, come morning, the kids will find marked up with red-lines?
I think my toddlers might each get a gift from Eugene Volokh this year too!
I'm generally pretty live-and-let-live with respect to cultural norms like this, but I don't know why one could count on one's parents to give you the truth if they were willing to tell lies in order to make some fun.
Yes, it is likely my kids who are telling your kids there is no Santa Claus. But, of course, if you really want to keep them going, you can tell them that my kids are the ones who are lying. I mean -- why not? It's all in fun, right?
LOL! Actually studies show a correlation between high intelligence and liking pro wrestling. As a youngster anyway.
Hoya, seriously, what do you tell your kids about God?
Maybe because when material things were a little less common, you pretty much knew you were out of line asking for so much from your parents. Perpetuating the myth that there is "extra help" from another source out there let those kids be kids again. You didn't get all you asked for, but Santa sets you free to wish and dream. Hope is more valuable in some personal situations than others, you know?
The right thing to do then is to try to figure out what the unstated assumption is, and answer the question based on that. Not to toss in a different assumption of your own that you know very well the kid didn't really mean.
Of course there was an unstated assumption. Virginia wanted to know "Is Santa real like Daddy or the President", not whether Santa exists as a social custom. Answering the question as if it meant the latter means *ignoring* the kid's unstated assumption.
I think they were doing a snotty cosmopolitan thing and speaking to the parents, not the kid.
Uh, yeah, you're right. I wish I could remove my comments. Or, at least I wish I had...posted them under a complete stranger's name. Yeah, that's the ticket.
I bet this "Colin Fraizer" guy would be mad if he found out that I posted what now appear to be stalker-esque comments on this blog.
Sincerely yours,
Not A Stalker (and Mostly Not Creepy In Real Life)
Anybody here whose parents told them there was a Santa Claus or a Tooth Fairy or a farm that they sent the dog to live on have problems now (or even as an adolescent) believing their parents on account of that?
People do come to form negative judgments of their parents' trustworthiness on the basis of the SC lie. My older brother, for example, argued with my older sister that of course they couldn't be lying about Santa Claus -- after all, if they were lying about that, they could be lying about lots of things, and he noted in particular about God.
Where does this end? If someone sees an acquaintance and notes that she has grown obese, but says instead to her "You look great! Have you lost weight?" to be nice, has she violated your "standard of truthfulness"? Should the person instead be candid?
Or what about if someone asks how your day is going, and it stinks, and you reply "I'm fine, how about you?" Is this a falsehood worthy of condemnation because it was said merely to make others happy?
And if these are wrong sorts of conduct, who would like to be around someone who acts correctly??
I kept up the pretense about the tooth fairy for years after I quite well knew it was my mother.
Most people in my son's first grade already knew. You can add to the list of reasons that if your children spend a lot of time with children from atheist, pagan, or otherwise not-Santa friendly families, they will probably hear more than once how foolish they are to believe in Santa (let alone God, but that's another story).
- Josh
The clear, bright line is that in lies one invites the person lied to to accept what one says as truth, while betraying that trust.
At 29, I still do. Santa is a great memory - not of a lie by your parents, but of things that are just designed to be nice and sweet to children.
And as for the anti-SC crowd ruining it for the all the other kids on general principle, I think that is, IMHO, mean-spirited. I'm going to raise my kids outside of an established religion and maybe as outright atheists, but there's no way that I'd encourage them to tell the other kids that God doesn't actually exist, and that there's no heaven or hell.
For the funniest story on folklore about holiday present-delivering characters, read or listen to David Sedaris's "Six to Eight Black Men." It is hilarious and much better in audio format. The story was posted on this site .
Sedaris story
I then proceeded to deliberately forget the incident and rationalize my belief in Santa Claus by deciding that Santa Claus was magic, and acted through my parents in the same way that God acted through the prophets.
Sixth grade a bit before Christmas, my father finally decided to tell me. Come spring, he had to repeat the process for the Easter Bunny.
It just occurred to me that I became an atheist around May of that year.
The proximate cause was my watching some televangelist quote certain portions of the Bible quite out of line with my Unitarian upbringing.
I now wonder though, whether the shattering of my illusions regarding Santa and the Easter Bunny were tied into my inability to maintain cognitive dissonance regarding my own religious beliefs.
Post Script: I don't usually read weblogs, if I do it's because I followed a link from another sit, but this one seems fairly nice. More like reading National Geographic or The Economist than the weblogs I remember, and better than my local papers. I may have to reconsider my attitude. Kudos (or whatever the term is nowadays).
The definition of a lie does not depend on the listener believing it. It depends on on whether the speaker is being truthful about what they say. There is no bright line here, except the one that will allow you to pick and choose which lies are acceptable to you and which ones aren't.
You misread the distinction. It's not just that the listener doesn't believe it. It's that the listener isn't *meant* to believe it. Kids are told about Santa with the intention that the kids believe Santa is real. This is not true of the other examples, like compliments in social situations.
By the time they realize that no stork delivered them, and they realize the full implications of how daddy's "seed" and mommy's "egg" came together and produced them. Always before they have children of their own, though for some unfortunate ones it is not too much more.
(1) How old was he when this argument took place?
(2) Did he maintain this lack of trust into his own young adulthood? After he had children of his own?
The biggest lie we tell our children is that the world is a soft, warm place where they will never feel hunger or any want. And then even after they are cast out of the Gar^h^h^h womb, we do our best to meet all their needs, instead of leaving them outside to learn what a cold cruel place the world really is.
Very well, and skipping the Victorian language, they should have written:
Straightforward enough?
And for what it's worth, the real Virginia O'Hanlon apparently liked the answer and (or cynically because of) the small fame that came with it. Here there are more details, including a letter she wrote on the 40th anniversary of the editorial, in which she encourages adults to continue to make Santa real for children.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus... depending on what the meaning of "is" is. Are we talking about the literal belief, that there's a old gent living in the high northern latitudes, variously rumored to be a sainted Catholic archbishop, dearly beloved friend to the Seelie Fay, and/or a semi-retired pagan deity, who uses a reindeer-sleigh based global toy distribution mechanism? Or the not-so-literal belief in humanity's spirit of kindness, generosity and sharing that this figure embodies?
As time passes, the shift is usually made by children gradually from the former to the latter... barring a rude shock of denial from an elder. Such denials are undesirable, since leading a child to prematurely reject the former may also lead them to challenge the latter.
Sometimes, truth is overrated, and a little hypocrisy isn't such a bad thing.
Each time they did this, the president of CTV would appear on air for a public service announcement, clarifying that of course, there is in fact a Santa Claus, but the mean people on the TV show were saying that as an example of a mean thing to say, not as an example of a true thing to say.
I bust a gut each time it happened. The clarifying messages rocked!
Being logical children, of course, I went and got my Childcraft Encyclopedia and opened it to the entry on Santa to prove he was real. (The first line was "Santa Claus, a myth..." My parents asked if I knew what a "myth" was.) My brother, when asked how Santa could possibly deliver gifts to children all over the world in just one night, looked at them very seriously and said, "There are different time zones."
I'm 28 now, and I still believe in the spirit of Santa! We have gifts magically appear under the tree on Christmas morning marked "from Santa", and our stockings are always filled. (Although I usually bring something "from Santa" to contribute to my parents' stockings these days.) A few years ago, my mother started to fill the stockings before we'd all gone to bed on Christmas Eve. My brother and I were both upset that she was spoiling the illusion of Santa!
I think Hoya and Ken Arromdee have things a bit wrong, and DutsyR has it right.
When someone tells a friend a lie to be nice (telling the overweight friend that he looks thin) the lie IS meant to be believed. In fact, many people who are lied to in this way take the lies to heart and cherish them. Who among us has not told someone they looked great even though the speaker knew at the time that was untrue? And is it not often the case that the lied-to person feels much better after receiving the compliment????
So a social compliment IS a falsehood told to someone who is "meant" to believe it. I don't think that one can distinguish this from the Santa fiction in that manner.
And, in fact, what's the harm in telling a little child to believe in such a wonderful, though mythic creature like Santa?
Cold hard truth has its place, granted -- but no one believes it should be universal.
It is completely random who figures it out though. I am younger than my brother and stopped believing when I was 5-6. I was a jerk too. I tried to find evidence that he didn't exist. I wish I had believed for longer. It would have made christmas more fun.
That's worth emphasis -- it's already been mentioned that that was the sin of the British teacher.
People like family traditions.
In about 5 hours I have to send an email to my father's cell phone to ask him if he's noticed how much longer the days have been getting -- that's been our Winter Solstice tradition for some 30 years (updated for technology), and I look forward to it, just like I look forward to certain foods on various occasions.
I knew there was no Tooth Fairy, that there couldn't be such thing, probably from the time I lost my first tooth. I didn't mind when I figured out how my mother was getting the quarter under my pillow, but I got awfully upset when my brother made her admit that she was the tooth fairy -- he was probably 10 to my 12. Very recently I had to set my father straight that what I was upset about wasn't the lack of a tooth fairy, but the end of that game.
No offense intended, but I'm sure glad you aren't my dad. All I gathered as I got older was a belief that my parents do what they can to preserve my belief in magic and justice in the world - that somehow if I behave myself, strangers will reward my good efforts. I'd say that's something most people believe in, that they will ultimately be rewarded for good behavior.
This thread is pretty depressing for me. It's like watching a religious debate; I don't think the cynics are any better off than the believers. If there's a real lesson I hope parents teach their children as they grow older, it's that you should let people believe whatever floats their boat as long as it doesn't interfere with you.
I don't tell my kids to go spread the word of Santa's nonexistence. I tell them not to, because not every false belief that others have is their responsibility to correct.
I would distinguish between telling someone 'I'm fine' when asked 'how are you?' (in normal social settings) and telling a friend 'you look great' when he or she does not, in fact, look great, and is expecting a truthful assessment of how he or she looks. In the former case, 'how are you'/'I'm fine' is about as meaningless an exchange of sounds as you can get. In the latter case -- well, if you care about how you look, and you can't turn to your friends for help, then that's not a good thing.
I think Arctic Express addresses this point with more magic.