The Volokh Conspiracy
[Eugene Volokh, March 12, 2008 at 3:56pm] Trackbacks
"Spitzer Sues Prostitute Over Sex Addiction":

Breaking news.

another anonVCfan:
Linking to this was irresponsible.
3.12.2008 5:02pm
neurodoc:
Is "bareback" the term of art these days? (I thought that was a gay expression for unprotected sex, sometimes by those purposely inviting HIV.) Used to be "bare knuckles."

I see an SNL skit this coming Saturday, if all the "comic" possibilities have not been exhausted by then. (For the record, I feel sorry for Spitzer and his family. Here is a Master of the Universe, like Tom Wolfe's Sherman McCoy, who has been brought tragically low, even if by his own hand, or whatever.)

Now I have to get to the gate for my flight.
3.12.2008 5:04pm
Paul Milligan (mail) (www):
But funny :-)
3.12.2008 5:04pm
Serendipity:
I think bareback started as a gay expression but now pretty much means unprotected sex, hetero,homo, or otherwise.
3.12.2008 5:09pm
Harry Lime (mail):
Loved the last sentence of that breaking news report.

To see what Kristen looks like, check out here.

She's pretty hot.
3.12.2008 5:27pm
Caliban Darklock (www):
Bareback has been a colloquial term for unprotected sex, both heterosexual and homosexual, throughout my lifetime. I first heard the term in mid-1975 from one of my uncle's Marine Corps buddies. I seriously doubt he was discussing any sort of homosexual behavior.

And... Harry, you think that girl is HOT? Bleh. Not only doesn't she look worthy of $4300, she doesn't even look worthy of a pickup line. Sure, I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but I wouldn't kick Bea Arthur out of bed either.
3.12.2008 5:42pm
alias:
another beat me to it...
3.12.2008 5:46pm
autolykos:

Sure, I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but I wouldn't kick Bea Arthur out of bed either.


I'll bet Bea Arthur is a devil in the sack.

By the way, I'm stealing that line.
3.12.2008 5:50pm
BT:
You guys can have Bea Arthur or Aunt Bea for that matter, I'll take Kristen anytime. BTW, how long do you think before Playboy, Hustler, etc., pays the big bucks to get our girl Kristen to pose Au Naturale? I say minimum of $250,000 should do it.
3.12.2008 6:02pm
theobromophile (www):
BTW, how long do you think before Playboy, Hustler, etc., pays the big bucks to get our girl Kristen to pose Au Naturale? I say minimum of $250,000 should do it.

How long or how much? You asked one question and answered another. :)

As for how long - until any gag orders are lifted, or the judge states that they won't be imposed. After all, you wouldn't want to improperly influence prospective jurors, right?
3.12.2008 6:21pm
Casual Peruser:
That was surprisingly unfunny, given the promise of the headline.
3.12.2008 6:31pm
E:
As for how long - until any gag orders are lifted, or the judge states that they won't be imposed. After all, you wouldn't want to improperly influence prospective jurors, right?

theobromophile, what if she was gagged in the photo?
3.12.2008 6:36pm
Bill Poser (mail) (www):
You know that things have really gotten weird when you have to check to see if there's a post about this at Overlawyered to be sure that it is a joke.
3.12.2008 6:48pm
Harry Lime (mail):
And... Harry, you think that girl is HOT? Bleh. Not only doesn't she look worthy of $4300, she doesn't even look worthy of a pickup line. Sure, I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but I wouldn't kick Bea Arthur out of bed either.

Oh come on, I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that stuff but, from what I can tell, she looks pretty darn good in that photo. And she's totally worthy of a pickup line although my pickup lines would probably fail on her. But I will agree that she's not worth $4,300.

How is prostitution still illegal by the way? Would it be suicide for a mainstream presidential candidate to advocate for its legalization?
3.12.2008 7:22pm
Eugene Volokh (www):
Yup, here's a message I got:
Respectfully, I just wanted to let you know I thought the Spitzer/Sex Addiction lawsuit blog post was quite misleading and that perhaps you should consider making the joke more apparent in your post. In light of the extraordinary surprise of Spitzer's totally irresponsible behavior so far, such a lawsuit did not strike me as clearly implausible, and I did not realize it was a joke until reading the second paragraph of the linked-to article. Before so realizing, I took the news as true.
Respectfully, I thought this was obviously at least a potential joke -- even if "you have to check to see ... to be sure that it is a joke" (in Bill Poser's words, and I should note Bill was not the correspondent I just quoted above), you should at least not assume that it's real.
3.12.2008 7:26pm
Kevin P. (mail):
I wonder if Kristen got any gag orders from Spitzer...
3.12.2008 7:26pm
wfjag:
The person Spitzer reminds me most of is Jimmy Swaggart. Remember back in early 1988 -- a few months after his destroying rival TV evangelist Jim Bakker for "committing adultery" with Jessica Hahn (or, if you believed her version, committing rape).

Jimmy stood, with his wife, Frances, at his side, and declared "I do not plan in any way to whitewash my sin or call it a mistake", before turning to Frances and saying "I have sinned against you and I beg your forgiveness."

All Spitzer needed to complete the Swaggart imitation would have been to play the piano.

Subsequently, the hooker Swaggart frequented got a spread in Hustler, and Hahn got a spread in Playboy. Kristen and the other Empire girls will likely do the same -- and then get cable contracts for "Reality Shows". If Spitzer is the least bit savvy, he can get a deal to do a Jerry Springer Show knock-off. Swaggart kept his Bible College and TV show -- I'd think that Spitzer's financial advisors can get him an even better deal.
3.12.2008 7:44pm
happylee:
Many thanks to Harry Lime.
3.12.2008 7:57pm
alias:
Kristen (NYTimes)
3.12.2008 8:08pm
justmehere:
Better pictures
3.12.2008 8:24pm
CEB:
I used to assume that I was the only person who read both Volokh and Fark regularly--threads like this have convinced me otherwise.

/another anonVCfan FTW!
3.12.2008 8:35pm
BT:
After doing extensive due diligence, thanks to the link from justmehere, I heartily recommend Kristen as McCain's VP.
3.12.2008 8:36pm
another anonVCfan:
Thanks, CEB.

And now may I humbly suggest that "Linking to this was irresponsible" be added to "For a libertarian blog . . ." in the Hall of Volokh Comment Cliches.
3.12.2008 8:55pm
theobromophile (www):
theobromophile, what if she was gagged in the photo?

E, there are so many other places to go with that. Gagged, tied up, gagging on something....

The WSJ (Tuesday, A18) states: "Shortly after midnight, Kristen reported to her boss that the appointment with Client-9 went well and that she collected $4,300, partly as a deposit for future trysts, it says."

She entered around 9:30, left about 2.5 hours later, and the $4,300 was also a down payment. Nevertheless, she's still out-earning Biglaw associates. ;) (Law school - prostituting out our minds because no one would pay that much for our bodies.)
3.12.2008 8:56pm
Jagermeister:
prostituting out our minds because no one would pay that much for our bodies.
Thread winner. I'll be laughing for the rest of the day on that one.
3.12.2008 9:35pm
PersonFromPorlock:
Caliban Darklock:

...I wouldn't kick Bea Arthur out of bed either.

But what if she talked?
3.12.2008 9:55pm
alex r:
In the faux-Spitzer news story category, I still prefer DealBreaker's Eliot Spitzer Vows To Crack Down On Excess Prostitute Pay...
3.12.2008 10:46pm
Justin (mail):
It's okay at times to be (really, really) juvenile if you're going to be funny. This is just mean without any of the funny.
3.12.2008 10:55pm
Crane (mail):
Guys, guys. You don't pay thousands of dollars for the sex. You pay for the security of knowing she'll go away discreetly after the sex and not start talking to the media looking for a book deal about her affair with you. If it wasn't for those meddling banks...
3.12.2008 11:17pm
Free Trader:

Guys, guys. You don't pay thousands of dollars for the sex. You pay for the security of knowing she'll go away discreetly after the sex and not start talking to the media looking for a book deal about her affair with you.


Considering how much a book deal would be worth, I don't see how $4300 is much security against that.
3.13.2008 12:38am
theobromophile (www):
Considering how much a book deal would be worth, I don't see how $4300 is much security against that.

How 'bout a contract that requires that she turn over any proceeds from a book deal, or related pursuits, to you? Two grand an hour might be adequate consideration for her signature to that.
3.13.2008 1:49am
Free Trader:
theobromophile,

Such a contract would be unenforceable in a court of law. It must have been a while since you have taken contracts. =)
3.13.2008 1:59am
wuzzagrunt (mail):
Given the nature of the enterprise, and its likely ties to organized crime, what keeps the girls from angling for a book deal is the kind of contract that you hope to never see your name on.

Now that Kristen's bosses and client(s) have been exposed, I suspect that is a moot point.
3.13.2008 7:08am
Gaius Marius:
Kristen will receive seven figures from various wealthy johns to forego writing a book. If she plays her cards right, she will circumvent any appearance of extortion.
3.13.2008 7:57am
theobromophile (www):
I'm sure that it could be written in such a way as to be legal. Appropriate euphemisms and all that. ;)

As for the payment for lack of a book deal - couldn't she simply write the book and then sell it, and all its derivative works, to the customers?

(But yeah, K was fall 2004. That was a while ago, relatively.)
3.13.2008 10:02am
Gaius Marius:
Not a bad idea, theobromophile. I would also add a provision where a physical copy of the book will be held by an escrow agent to be publicly published in the event Kristen dies an unnatural death and destroyed if Kristen dies from a natural death.
3.13.2008 9:26pm

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