VC Commenters On Apples and Oranges:
A play in one act, inspired by recent comment threads here at the VC:
Scene: A Volokh Conspiracy comment thread. Enter two commenters, Red and Blue.The End.
RED: I sure like apples.
BLUE: Apples? They're rotten. Oranges are better.
RED: Are you insane? Oranges are disasters.
BLUE: At least oranges aren't corrupt fruits that hate America.
RED: Yes they are, in fact Hitler liked oranges!
BLUE: WTF? Hitler was an apple.
I though only Roehm was a fruit . . .
there. it's been said. Blueberries are where it's at.
Everyone knows Hitler hated the juice.
PC wins the thread.
Yeah, that joke was hard to beet.
RvB special real life vs the internet
One is the birthplace of a mass murdering communist, and one is on the Black Sea?
Kerr didn't even link to the article showing that Hitler really was an apple.
It's right there in his Wikipedia entry.
I'd suggest that the consipiracy allow registered users to associate themselves with the fruit of their choice so as to make future discussions easier for readers to digest.
McCain and Biden are merely afterthoughts now.
Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
A: Naziism.
X: ""
Y: "WRONG, _______!" (vitriolic epithet optional)
-and also the model for the Porky Pig parade balloon.
Beyond that, by engaging in this Apple/Orange business, you
1)tacitly admit your ignorance as the entire situation is a non sequiter.
2) hand yourselves over to be manipulated for fear of appearing intellectually inferior.
They laugh at you... oh, how they laugh.
And, as we have established before, a legal legal blog. At least for now.
We don't git to much absurdist modernist drama 'round heeyer. 'Cept for that preformince of "Arcadia" waht was really good last year. An what got us all thinkin' a bit more 'bout the relashun ship twixt marterialist detrminism an human emoshuns.
"It's no rare thing for the right wing to use prominent women to keep the rest of us down. But just because Sarah Palin is a woman doesn't mean she's good for women. And female voters know that."
Behind Seltzer's anger, there is an important subtext: The left wing can no longer claim it speaks for all "female voters." Nor can it claim, in the words of Seltzer, that "our irrational she-hormones will lead us, like sheep, to pull the lever" for the left wing candidate.
For someone who expects women to march in lock step with a left wing agenda, it is good reason to be angry.
BOOOOOOO!!! Hiss!!! I want to avoid all mentions of that issue for the next month, at least while doing enjoyable things like blogging.
To date, only one man has been all three.
I thought this was a libertarian blog!
But tomato libertarians need to fight, since the Supreme Court refused to grant the tomato its "fruit" status.
To date, only one man has been all three."
To which candidate are you referring?
"Pomegate?" "Pomegranitgate?"
The Cabage:
Well, that rules out Steve Garvey, who was never actually Steve Garvey.
So now I'm puzzled about whom you mean. I'm thinking Tommy LaSaorda, Mercator, or Nehru. One of that type of guy.
Grafting is a beautiful thing, as long as there is love!
I think the VC is fast becoming a barely legal blog, thanks to the inane fructarian ramblings of the likes of closet liberals who hate America like Orin Kerr.
This is why values voters can never trust an apple lover. It's unnatural. God intended apples to bear fruit one way and one way only. I support a Constitutional amendment to prevent unelected judges from imposing grafting on us.
The parent navel orange tree in Riverside, CA. It's so like apple lovers to distort small town values in relentless pursuit of their unAmerican agenda.
That's so small-minded. You need to read my Pulizter Prize-winning book, It Takes an Orchard to Raise a Crop.
It have nothing against any type of seed-pod. But let's not let these oranges call themselves 'orchards.' It devalues the term.
It was a banana.
Even if you never tasted one, you know this fruit. It's the apple at Whole Foods paired with a pomegranate-caramel dipping sauce, sporting a pert stem and perfectly dappled skin that leans artfully against the "Organic" sign and makes tart comments about the other produce.
I cannot believe you mustard up the chutzpah to make a ketchup pun. Though I do have to say it wasn't corny.
And the Right is only against embryonic grafting, not adult grafting.
Indeed there is a lot to be said for the starfruit theory and that the Fall was caused (as Browning would have it) by man's reach exceeding his grasp, making the Fall a noble thing. But aren't we hijacking this thread into another theological conversation when it was originally a political conversation?
I wanted to reiterate that I am smarter than everyone else on this thread as well as note that the above commenter is a paid shill for Monsanto.
Not at all, since the Founding Fathers were all fruits, the two are inextricable.
Shall I part my hair behind?
Do I dare to eat a [fig]?
I shall wear white flannel trousers
and [dance a happy jig].
????
No. Oral sex on a female is a peach.
I retract my last post. And my next one.
I deny that you can find that anywhere in that book. I demand that you give me the exact page number, or your credibility -- such as it is -- will be entirely destroyed.
You may be correct, however that is not exclusive.
Surely you recall the famous Greek dramatist who's name escape's me who famously decried the use of the fig as a euphemism for the female genitalia on stage, when he declared that actors should "call a fig a fig, and a spade a spade" (apparently he was very well endowed most Greek actors of the period referred to the male genitalia as a trowel), most interestingly using the very same euphemisms to decry the use of euphemisms.
The original public meaning of "BANANA" was "PEACHES."
Which makes PEACHES an HERB.
MY GOD! IT IS THE ENDTIMES!
And I have nothing Endtimey to wear.
I've seen all those nekkid Greek athletes on black-figure ware. And "spade" might be overly generous. As would be "trowel," frankly.
Maybe the correct term is "ontologically challenged trowel"?
Just no ontologically challenged trollops, OK? This is a classy blog.
As a strumpet, I take offense to this. Delusion is how I get through the day.
excuseproblem the Greeks do.I'm sure all the trollops commenting here are 100% incarnate.
I've personally had my Incarnation.