Palin Haiku Contest:
Here are a couple to get you started.
Right-wingers rejoice
Maybe Obama Won't Win!
Palin on ticket
Democrats panic What strikes terror in their hearts?
Pit bull with lipstick
Palin Haiku Contest:
Here are a couple to get you started.
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I can see Russia
What else do I need
Rookie interview
God's War? GOP response:
Charlie Gibson lied
Alaska's New Governor
Her Faults Overlooked
Just kidding jim
Palin's economic plan:
Cut taxes and spend!
Here we are courtesy of
Palin Conspiracy
Four coaches Three bad gaffes
Too Late Barack Won
But kept allocated funds:
Budget cutter? Hmm.
and evangelicals too,
but PUMAs stay away.
Not enough Palin content
on the internet.
Redo!
Gets working mom vote,
and evangelicals too,
but PUMAs say no.
Oil Exec? Scientist? No!
Hockey mom Sarah.
Wouldn't sack the deputy
(Your Marley haiku)
But we think perhaps this thread
Does you no credit
off hallucinatory
bridges to nowhere
Palin makes him look so po
Now back to my show
marked ears lost in moose sized lies
any price to win
Doesn't make them go away
Just makes crabs mate more.
Enjoy the long walk!
Infamous bridge to nowhere
Is really short pier.
Nowhere, Alaska.
Redundant? I think so.
Let's go ask Putin.
eXtreme Muslims want us dead
Don't forget to vote
caribou and moose merely
for target practice
fear not obama's banter
he's no michael vick
Moves the White House soon.
Can I brief her then?
She departs my dream,
Moves to the White House soon.
Can I brief her then?
apparently now means one
who wants to ban books
Ritual Democratic
Self immolation
Underestimate
Sarah Palin just like Marge,
Sheriff in Fargo
would beat barry and joe in
cage match handily
No story on internet,
Must google harder.
shelves now with laboring rapes
drill baby for oil
Palin should stick to hockey
and not try hardball.
As a Clintonite,
Palin pick could not be more
Sexist and silly.
Palin as VP
is now cramming for exams.
Her past record? FAIL.
you crush on darling barry
may cost you dearly
Lefty pundits just can't stop
McCain polls rising
can't type on keyboard like us
obama mocks him
I hope this isn't deleted for being off topic. But it does tie in to Obama's unforced errors. You wonder if his staff knows how to use the internet to find things like this:
Before issuing ads like this:
they were good, now they are bad.
she's Ted Stevens-lite
freshman senators and first
ladies just won't do
give no heed to maxims of
rocks and glass houses
Media blowback
Lefty bloggers just can't stop
McCain polls rising
freshman Senator had no
experience: hah!
(not blitzer, mind you) but no
villagers believe
require versification
web's a better place
run crying to Clinton when
the center won't play
I have a perfect place to
Hang him on my wall (next to my moose, and my caribou, and my bear, and...)
Obama mania gone
McCain White House bound
Obama picks Biden
McCain picks Palin, outsider
Change message now his
Makes gigantic fool of self
Campaign so over
The media stars all swooned
Now they gnash their teeth
if the election is just
a beauty contest.
takes on a much bigger hunt --
bag the big Donkey!
Multitasking mom
moving up the ladder still --
city, state, U.S.
She gave one good speech
but should stop recycling
lines that could get stale
This breath of fresh air
rivals Gustav, even Ike
blowing O. off course
[This is too addictive!]
more cursed to give than to
receive an earmark
to trust our guts instead of
those talking heads
to trust our guts instead of
those talking heads
Yes, don't trust talking
heads who give her a pass for
being ignorant
O's liberal rubber stamp
desire lustily
Obama's pro-choice
I'm sure he wishes he could
Abort Biden's mouth.
(I must've missed the debate.)
Alaska's awesome!
Come to Wasilla!
We make you pay for rape kits!
(We pray it's God's task.)
Fair-minded people,
Please open your freakin' eyes.
She's out of her league.
never mind the resume
call her moose-olini.
Huge debt? Fixed with ease
We'll find some efficiencies
So vote for me please
Holy cow -- I actually learned something by reading a Palin thread.
friend of wright, ayers, pfleger
what makes you so wise?
If she were ready to lead
It might be funny
is much more relevant than
Barak organized
watching poll numbers plunging
The moose are hopeful
to dumb dog, takes offense when
compared to bright pig
Explanation: Pigs
are east coast elitists
dogs - salt of the earth
cannot chill the warmth within
my new palinquin.
Veep compares herself
to dumb dog, takes offense when
compared to bright pig
Explanation: Pigs
are all east coast elitists
pitbulls - salt of earth
No one really believes that.
We'll win anyway.
Who to attack after that?
The Russians? Perhaps so.
Palin overload
Bernstein freshens it up some
JWG wins
Anchors can’t tell which is which
…Least of their worries
Running a campaign
Obama’s “experience”
Looks he ready now?
Gibson's "Big Mistake"
(Not reading Volokh blog first)
Is he missing this?
[OK, I'm done ... really]
"Russia's invaded Georgia?
Defend Tennessee!"
Alaska's brown leaves
Palin's not on campaign trail?
Nope. It's moose season
Lovely autumn leaves
Nature's homage to the polls
Let's go with Palin
Yet another Palin thread?
Thirty is enough!
On Alaskan tundra moss.
Bang! Goes Palin's gun.
No one really believes that.
We'll win anyway.
quality is by
definition subjective
try again LM
Expertise is meaningless.
Strong. Oblivious.
"Bush Doctrine?" Charlie,
I've never heard that term used
Not like we're at war...
Incest is piffle.
"Mother's health" is too damn vague.
Buy your own rape kit.
Why separation?
Church and State: peas and carrots.
God bless this pipeline.
Dear Commissioner,
Help me break the law or go.
Sincerely, Sarah.
Bankrupted my town,
Corruption as governor...
Vote McCain/Agnew!
History, science...
why worry my precious mind?
Let's go shoot a moose.
A blizzard of words,
full of sound and fury, but
signifies nothing.
PTA reformed:
Does that mean she stood up to
Big Wrapping-Paper?
Small-town mayor is
like an organizer: you
get to fire cops.
Fire the chief, then
Fire the commissioner:
Sense a pattern there?
Mother, moose-hunter:
When I think of leadership,
those two top my list.
Not a Murkowski.
Still corrupt, still power-mad,
but hey, she's not Frank.
Misunderstood Quayle:
just as we miss Bill Clinton,
she'll make you look good.
Subpoena is hard
To fit into her schedule.
Inconvenient truth.
tolling winter's deathly bell
for summer's bright son
I want a new face in place
Someone dumb like me
Our Pet Shop Palin.
Ev'rything She's ever done
That's right, it's a sin
thought experience mattered?
Way back in the day.
Unknown quantity.
Not like she may be only
A heartbeat away.
Wikipedia:
All we knew about her we
Learned from BabyTrigg.
Sure, for twelve hundred dollars.
Mayor Palin insists.
and
One, Two, Three, Four, Five.
It really isn't so hard.
Try counting slower.
(Apologies to the authors. I know. I'm a dick.)
Cause John suffered torture.
Obama stepped in it.
Palin has
A loaded Moose rifle
Say it! “Not a pig!”
Obama says
She has no practice in this.
No self knowledge
Not just words
‘Cept when he puts his foot in
Then they are just words
Game hunter:
Seeks moose, deer, Ted Stevens
And earmarks
Guarding the Repub Doorway
Lest reason sneak in
God is my witness
I always abide his word
Subpoena him, Ha!
My 1040 goes to road
Libertarian?
Her friends can't today
say they will pull her lever
Et tu, Fren-emies?
It's hyperbole.
But why would anyone care?
It's bi-partisan.
Miss South Carolina called
wants her style back
Party Unity My Posterior, a subset of democratic party which is so upset over the failure to nominate Clinton they are threatening to support McCain.
Or living Constitution?
Law profs should take note
But why would anyone care?
It's bi-partisan.
hyperbole? no.
just hope and change with flavor
libertarian
I'm still keeping the money,
But earmarks are bad.
Nowhere, Alaska:
Together, let's build bridges
(In election years).
Commander in Chief
of the state National Guard.
No orders given.
Canada next door,
Russia across the Beiring...
Foreign policy!
Hopes of a nation
Rest with this dead-ringer for
George Bush in a dress.
War with Russia may
Be on the horizon. Yay!
Brinkmanship is fun!
Remember way back
When we tried not to start wars?
Ah, the good old days!
"Ready on Day One."
Not exactly sure what for,
But she reassures.
Face down the press corps!
Screwed up badly with Gibson?
Let's call Hannity.
Hey Disney, listen:
Never thought I'd say this, but
Matt Damon was right.
Bit slow on her feet,
But she read her speech real sweet:
She recites 'read' meat.
Moose-burgers, you say?
Her record is empty, but
We like her palate.
Democratically,
We picked a Vice-President
Demographically.
Till snows come, its rivals pale
In comparison
Sly, misogynistic cat
Navy mon slap shot
So Many Bridges to Nowhere
We Will Build our Own
Attacks Palin in blind rage
Wounds the One instead
Really aren't that ambitious.
Let's build a skyhook!
Big lead falls like Autumn leaves
Hillary hides laugh
No hyperbole?
It's about what you told me
should be subjective.
My righteous indignation
is bigger than yours.
Palin tail wags McCain dog
WTF is this?
Sorry. Correction:
Foreign policy
Russia, I can see Russia
What else do I need
Can't afford rape kit
City saving its money
To build hockey rink
titillates with her good-looks
and Bob Dole approves.
You can do better than a
Girl without a clue.
Sarah's a cipher,
Haunting your dreams and a few
Quaint old maxims like:
"Better to be still
and appear dumb than to speak
and remove all doubt."
A sexy, conservative moose killa
Liberals trembled in fear
Desperately trying to smear
The Right's deliciously hot new Godzilla
(Ok, it's a limerick, but at least I included a Japanesey twist at the end.)
There once was a man from Hawaii
Whose church was no fan of Whitey
Communities organized
Inexperience lionized
A messiah above God almighty
Old lib'ral refrain
Attack Righty brainpower
But Joe last in class
watch obama and biden
lose it anyway
when joe and barry blow smoke
we refuse to toke
from the land of winter
McCain's savior a woman
Obama still wins
count syllables correctly
In Palin attack
It's about what you told me
should be subjective.
Hope is a prayer
Not an assertion despite
Status quo's scissors
The bi-partisan
qualifications are in
the constitution
The rest, as they say
is philosophy or else
a Pirsig koan
At least, where it's located.
So reassuring!
on-the-job training
is best for learning new things.
I sure hope it's true.
Palin-dromic veep?
I guess we'll see. More likely
oxymoronic.
In sum, haiku is about content, not rigid adherence to 5-7-5.
5-7-5 form not needed
Above posts...never mind!
more than form wouldn't we talk
about someone else?
Used to be about the law
Now, damn politics
Used to be about the law
Now, damn politics
in this country we
elect our lawmakers so
politics it is
Though, is not about lipstick
And flag lapel pins
patently unqualified,
deified for spite.
(assuming cops accept Visa);
what a feminist.
among first-world nations?
Try pseudoscience!
Jesus cares about your damn
soccer stadium.
I'm tempted to vote for her.
I'll decide later.
Hemp? O, 24 a day.
Sex at noon.
Haiku was a mock coma -- nil.
A Palin a mock coma saw:
"Ukiah, No on taxes!"
Yada! 4:20 PM, eh?
Or lipstick on a pit bull?
Lindgren likes either.
That's the best explanation
For this blog fetish.
[this may be more fun than EV's Palindrome competition]
Palin stole the election.
VPs do matter!
[I'd better stop now; this could be addicting]
Bernstein wins the prize
For best Palin post on Web.
The rest are all dumb.
Not on this thread, Mr. Roboto.
Tina Fey career booster
Better than Hammond
O! the Dems are going to pee
when the drill bits bite
autumn leaves disturbing;
mooseburgers soon.
What could be more about nature than a discussion of moose? Or puma?
M4 to shoulder
Tee shirt on sweaterpuppies
Forget Barry O!