I Really Should Be Working On Exams
rather than trying to find the single cheesiest Lawrence Welk clip on YouTube, but hey, that's what the Internet is for, I guess. Anyway, here's the current pick, amidst tough competition:
If you can find something even cheesier, provide the link in the comment thread.
George Weiss (mail) (www):
good to know its not just us students who procrastinate
12.5.2008 1:12am
I posted this some hours ago, in the last relevant thread... but if you're suddenly going to go all Lawrence Welk on us here....


News Flash

Wired's Kim Zetter has posted the jury instructions in the Drew case. PDFs are linked from her story at Threat Level.
12.5.2008 1:13am
Gilbert (mail):
You should be working on exams? I should be reading articles for a paper I am trying to finish. How tragic.
12.5.2008 1:13am
Gilbert (mail):
*should be reading one of your articles
12.5.2008 1:14am

Wanna trade?
12.5.2008 1:18am

I saw that. But she hasn't yet posted the proposed jury instructions that the defense submitted that the judge incorrectly rejected.

Now, back to LW.
12.5.2008 1:20am
Define cheesy. (Examples won't do, since that would be circular and unedifying as to the concept of "cheesiness.") The definition should be robust enough to defeat a chacun-a-son-gout or beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder challenger from Welk admirers.
12.5.2008 1:21am
I'm sorry, but instead of blegging for cheesy Welkiana, you really ought to be paying homage to the finest in Welk-crafted cognitive dissonance.
12.5.2008 1:41am
Constructively Reasonable (www):
I am glad to see that even renown law professors still find ways to avoid the dread of finals. I can imagine the conversation now:

My Admin Law Professor: Did you even study Chevron?
Me: No, I was helping Professor Kerr find cheesy Lawrence Welk videos.
My Admin Law Professor: Wasn't that the entire series? That is, with the exception of that Zimmer girl?
12.5.2008 2:17am
I know it should be obvious, but which one is Bobbi and which one is Sissy?
12.5.2008 2:33am

Actually, there is some non-cheesy Welk. It's rare, but it exists.
12.5.2008 3:12am
LeonPancetta, I'm sure you'll get an answer; this site has plenty of experts.

Apodaca: cognitive dissonance it is. Amazing.
12.5.2008 5:00am
SKardner (mail):
I have two clips:

One; and

12.5.2008 5:27am
SKardner (mail):
No, wait:

12.5.2008 5:30am
L.A.W. Student (mail):
Dear Prof. Kerr,

The video is great and all, but I'm in one of your classes at GW, and I agree - you really should be working on your exam. Cheers!
12.5.2008 5:48am
Are you guys kidding?
That was great!
12.5.2008 6:35am
That looks like any given episode of "Dancing with the Stars."
12.5.2008 6:59am
My 2 year old nephew is *entranced* when the Lawrence Welk show comes on PBS. Must be the rad colors and snail-like pace of the whole thing.

Still, it's less painful than Barney. oh, the pain!
12.5.2008 7:56am
"Really should be working on exams"

You and me both, professor.
12.5.2008 8:21am
corneille1640 (mail):
I confess I could not watch all 2 minutes and 40 seconds of it. But yes, I do find it very cheesy.
12.5.2008 8:24am
ASlyJD (mail):
Yeah, I should be getting ready for the Civ Pro final in 1 hr, 20 min. Erie? What's that?
12.5.2008 8:40am
californian (mail):
can anyone explain why were they wearing the old Oakland A's uniforms?
12.5.2008 8:41am
can anyone explain why were they wearing the old Oakland A's uniforms?
Because there's no there there?
12.5.2008 8:56am
Because somebody has to post it.
12.5.2008 9:00am
Mikeyes (mail):
Did anyone hear Orin on NPR this morning?
12.5.2008 9:06am
Gopherstate (mail):
SNL did a skit recently poking fun at the Lawrence Welk show, and I thought it captured it almost perfectly.
12.5.2008 9:41am
SKardner #3: win.
12.5.2008 9:42am
George Smith:
As we were lusting after Annette, we knew even then that Bobby was a dork.
12.5.2008 10:14am
Sean M.:
Evidence? Business Associations?

Lawrence Welk! GENIUS!
12.5.2008 10:17am
Prof. S. (mail):
Gopherstate, you beat me to it. I was rolling laughing so hard at that one.
12.5.2008 10:19am
Dan Weber (www):
I probably am outing myself but I liked that dance routine. It was no Cha Cha, but fun to watch and fun to perform which is really what dancing is all about.
12.5.2008 10:21am
Mike Keenan:
I also enjoyed the routine. She was pretty impressive in those heels. Him, well I just tried not to watch him. Wasn't hard.
12.5.2008 10:30am
Chris 24601 (mail) (www):
neurodoc: "Examples won't do, since that would be circular..." That can't be right, can it? I think our innate what-these-things-have-in-common-finding faculty can work even for ineffable properties.
12.5.2008 11:36am
theobromophile (www):
Prof. Kerr,

In the spirit of trading duties, why don't you make a thread inviting your readers to contribute to the writing of your exams? In honour of Repeal Day, you can buy a beer (or a glass of wine) for the reader with the best exam hypo.
12.5.2008 11:44am
I have been watching the Welk show on PBS for years (my kids love it and are somewhat freakish in their hero-worship of Arthur Duncan, but he is insanely cool), and I don't find that routine any cheesier than the normal Bobby and Sissy routine. Their "learning to dance" one is probably worse. I liked that one, even though I was shocked that Mr. Welk would allow a bare midriff.
12.5.2008 12:25pm
If we can find a Lawrence Welk video where the dancers are doing the Chevron two-step, everybody wins.

Luckily, I can watch YouTube *and* study for Evidence with the classic Hearsay Exceptions video.
12.5.2008 1:04pm
Well, I don't know if this qualifies as cheesy: a girl singing along with a karaoke machine.
12.5.2008 1:16pm
Katl L (mail):
Lucky you. Larry Summer is not your Dean
12.5.2008 1:55pm
Aristides (mail) (www):
I gotta say, picking on the Lawrence Welk show is kind of going after some low-hanging fruit. That being said, that was a little goofy, and I don't know how that couldn't be considered goofy even at the time.
12.5.2008 2:06pm
Ex parte McCardle:
I liked SKardner's No. Three. Here's the definitive treatise:
12.5.2008 2:18pm
DiverDan (mail):
Ok - the "One Toke Over the Line" clip was priceless; I wonder whatever possessed Brewer &Shipley to license this to Lawrence Welk. As to the Chicken Dance instructions, I couldn't help wondering where these guys were when I was trying desparately but unsuccessfully to learn the Macarena.
12.5.2008 3:14pm
LM (mail):

Ok - the "One Toke Over the Line" clip was priceless; I wonder whatever possessed Brewer &Shipley to license this to Lawrence Welk.

Are you kidding? I'll be disappointed if they took money for it.
12.5.2008 3:41pm
DSH (mail):
How about these?

and my favorite...
12.5.2008 6:23pm
Jerome Cole (mail) (www):
God the female dancer was hot.
12.5.2008 7:25pm
Jon Rowe (mail) (www):
I remember when taking classical guitar lessons preparing for my collegiate studies in music, my classical guitar teacher -- also a jazzhead, hated rock, but I loved rock -- said something interesting about Welk. I relayed a joke I heard on a radio station: What's the difference between Lawrence Welk's orchestra and a Moose? With a Moose, the horns are in the front, the asshole is in the back. He laughed but then went on to defend Welk. Said his music style wasn't his cup of tea but stressed to me that *Welk demands musical perfection from his performers* and we should respect him for that.
12.5.2008 10:33pm
Jon Rowe, same with James Brown. When he'd say, "Gotcha now" in his songs, he was pointing out a mistake by one of his band's players.

James Brown was also a perfectionist. With teeth as big as Chiclets. North and south.
12.5.2008 11:18pm
Professor, you're lucky you didn't post something like this while i was one of your students. I'd have challenged you to a duel 1750-style if you had.
12.6.2008 1:28am
David Warner:
Speaking of JB, something non-cheesy.
12.6.2008 2:30am
EconomicNeocon (mail):
Orin's clip get's my vote, as I couldn't watch for more than a minute. The One Toke performance (SKardner #1) was hilarious, mostly due to the set up as: "One of the new songs . . . ." Very edgy, indeed. The Chicken Dance clip (SKardner #3) was instructional. First runner up. SKardner #2 was doctored and therefore DQ'ed.
12.8.2008 9:05am

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