Samuel Beckett?

Slate‘s Chatterbox reprints a transcript of a conversation between reporters and President Bush at a ribs diner in Roswell, N.M.. Chatterbox’s reaction: “Today’s lunchtime press ‘pool’ transcript from the Nothin’ Fancy Caf? in Roswell, N.M., was scripted by Samuel Beckett.” My reaction: This is a savvy politician (1) having some fun with the journalists (and I don’t mean angry scream fun, but friendly sparring partner fun), and (2) nimbly dodging questions that he quite understandably doesn’t want to answer in this environment (why on Earth would he want to respond to “What do you think of the Democratic field, sir?”?), a skill that politicians must have to survive. (Note that I’m not trying to overpraise the President here — you can say what you will about the quality of his policies; I’m saying only that the interchange is evidence of his political savvy rather than of his postmodernism.) You decide for yourself (and feel free to say that it’s a floor wax and a dessert topping); here’s the transcript:

Remarks by the President to the Press Pool
Nothin’ Fancy Cafe
Roswell, New Mexico

11:25 A.M. MST

THE PRESIDENT: I need some ribs.

Q Mr. President, how are you?

THE PRESIDENT: I’m hungry and I’m going to order some ribs.

Q What would you like?

THE PRESIDENT: Whatever you think I’d like.

Q Sir, on homeland security, critics would say you simply haven’t spent enough to keep the country secure.

THE PRESIDENT: My job is to secure the homeland and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. But I’m here to take somebody’s order. That would be you, Stretch — what would you like? Put some of your high-priced money right here to try to help the local economy. You get paid a lot of money, you ought to be buying some food here. It’s part of how the economy grows. You’ve got plenty of money in your pocket, and when you spend it, it drives the economy forward. So what would you like to eat?

Q Right behind you, whatever you order.

THE PRESIDENT: I’m ordering ribs. David, do you need a rib?

Q But Mr. President —

THE PRESIDENT: Stretch, thank you, this is not a press conference. This is my chance to help this lady put some money in her pocket. Let me explain how the economy works. When you spend money to buy food it helps this lady’s business. It makes it more likely somebody is going to find work. So instead of asking questions, answer mine: are you going to buy some food?

Q Yes.

THE PRESIDENT: Okay, good. What would you like?

Q Ribs.

THE PRESIDENT: Ribs? Good. Let’s order up some ribs.

Q What do you think of the democratic field, sir?

THE PRESIDENT: See, his job is to ask questions, he thinks my job is to answer every question he asks. I’m here to help this restaurant by buying some food. Terry, would you like something?

Q An answer.

Q Can we buy some questions?

THE PRESIDENT: Obviously these people — they make a lot of money and they’re not going to spend much. I’m not saying they’re overpaid, they’re just not spending any money.

Q Do you think it’s all going to come down to national security, sir, this election?

THE PRESIDENT: One of the things David does, he asks a lot of questions, and they’re good, generally.

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