Ever notice how some professors who feel compelled to prove their hipness by inserting pop culture references into their exams? One of my professors used characters from Austin Powers for all the names in his exam, while another based the exam on a plotline from “Dawson’s Creek,” inserting a murder in the show’s love triangle.
These efforts are often amusing, and occasionally a bit sad. Nonetheless, they can lighten the stress of taking an exam. In this spirit I offer a selection from “99 Problems” by rapper Jay-Z, recently named President and CEO of Def Jam records:
The year is ’94 and my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the ****** ******’ law
I got two choices y’all pull over the car or (hmmm)
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain’t tryin’ to see no highway chase for Jay
Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case
So I . . . pull over to the side of the road
I heard “Son do you know what I’m stoppin’ you for?”
Cause I’m young and I’m black and my hats real low
But do I look like a mind reader sir, I don’t know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo’?
“Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-four
“License and registration and step out of the car
“Are you carryin’ a weapon on you I know alot of you are”
I ain’t steppin out of **** all my papers legit
“Do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?”
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And I know my rights so you gon’ need a warrant for that
“Aren’t you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or somethin’?
“Or somebody important or somethin’?”
Nah I ain’t pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won’t illegally search my ****
“We’ll see how smart you are when the K-9 come”
I got 99 Problems but a ***** ain’t one.
As to whether Shawn Carter knows the law, I’ll defer to the Conspiracy’s resident criminal procedure experts.
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