As you may have heard, Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” has been named, and the person is “You.” The magazine cover has a picture of a PC with the word “You” in the center, with text at the bottom that says, “Yes, you. You control the Information Age. Welcome to your world.”
The Volokh Conspiracy has obtained a secret list of the five runners-up for the Person of the Year, together with the text for the proposed cover page, and we are now able to leak that list to you. Here it is:
1. Your Parents. Text: “Yes, your parents. You wouldn’t exist without them. ‘Nuff said.”
2. Santa Claus. Text: “He’s coming to town soon. Get ready!”
3. Your best friend. Text: “Simply the best, this year and every year.”
4. The Mailman. Text: “He delivered Time Magazine in all sorts of crazy weather. Our hero.”
5. “That Guy You Met Last Week At That Meeting — What’s His Name? Gary? Barry? Crap, I Forget.” Text: “Here’s to all the regular people who made 2006 the year it was.”
Feel free to offer your own suggestions in the comment thread.