In light of the verdict in the Lori Drew case, I have decided to promulgate new Terms of Use for the Volokh Conspiracy. You are only permitted to visit the Volokh Conspiracy if you are in compliance with the Terms of Use. Any accessing the Volokh Conspiracy in a way that violates these terms is unauthorized, and according to the Justice Department is a federal crime that can lead to your arrest and imprisonment for up to one year for every visit to the blog.
By visiting this blog, you promise that:
1. You will not post comments that are abusive, profane, or irrelevant. Civil and relevant comments only, as indicated by our comment policy.
2. You are not an employee of the U.S. government. Yes, that includes postal service employees, law clerks, judges, and interns. We’re a libertarian-leaning blog, and we’re for the private sector only. Government types, keep out.
3. Your middle name is not “Ralph.” I’ve always thought Ralph was a funny name, and even odder as a middle name. No one with the middle name “Ralph” is welcome here.
4. You’re super nice. We have strict civility rules here, and this blog is only for people who are super nice. If you are not super nice, as judged by me, your visit to this blog is unauthorized.
5. You have never visited Alaska. Okay, this one is totally arbitrary, but it’s our blog and we can keep out who we want. Alaska visitors are out, too.
If you post an abusive comment; you are an employee of the U.S. government; your middle name is Ralph; you’re not super nice, as judged by me; or you have visited Alaska, I have kinda bad news for you: You are a criminal, as you have just violated 18 U.S.C. 1030(a)(2)(C) by accessing the Volokh Conspiracy’s service without authorization or in excess of authorization. You are only authorized to visit the blog in compliance with the Terms of Use, and by violating these terms you have become a criminal by essentially “hacking in” to the Volokh Conspiracy.
Anyway, those are our new Terms of Use; it’s our service, so we get to set them as we want them. Meanwhile, have a safe and happy Thanksgiving weekend, everyone.