Huh?

Right after posting about Spinsanity’s Kerryisms catch, I saw today’s Kerryism. Kerry was asked:

Is the support for Roe v. Wade a critical point, a litmus test, for any court appointee you would make?

Kerry answered:

To the Supreme Court of the United States, yes.

The Kerryism edited version, which I assume is supposed to be equivalent to Kerryism’s original point but better put (remember their original charter, which is “translat[ing]” Kerry’s words “into plain English,” by removing “caveats and pointless embellishments”) is:

Yes.

But that’s not what Kerry wanted to say! It would be a stupid thing to say, both from a policy perspective (even if he firmly supports constitutional abortion rights, why should he turn it into a litmus test for district court judges?) and from a political perspective (if he does set up such a broad litmus test even for district court judges, he’d look like a fanatic).

What exactly is the point of the Kerryisms? At first, I thought — based on the column’s introductory installment — the Kerryisms were meant to show that Kerry throws in lots of unnecessary verbiage. But here, this was a necessary proviso.

Another possibility is that “Kerryisms” has evolved into an attempt to show simply that Kerry uses a lot of qualifiers, instead of giving very simple answers. But often, as in this case, the right answer isn’t simple. It’s actually not terribly complex, but it’s not one-word simple. Is it really good to fault a politician for refusing to oversimplify? Should we want supposedly smart media outlets mocking politicians for trying to be precise?

The only other option that I see is that the column has descended into self-parody. (“Question: What’s the ratio of a circle’s circumference to the diameter? Kerry’s real answer: 3.1415926. Our answer, shorn of caveats and pointless embellishments: 3.”) But surely it can’t be intentional self-parody. So I ask again, what’s the point?

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