“Latest Bin Laden Videotape Wishes America ‘A Crappy Valentine’s Day'”:
Bin Laden called for “romantic humiliation for all Americans of courting and betrothal age.”
“Allah willing, embarrassment and tearful rejection shall rule this day,” bin Laden said. “Paper hearts shall be rent and trod upon, and dreams of love delivered stillborn. Body language shall be misinterpreted, crushes unrequited, and sincere expressions of affection mocked. Invitations to dinner will be rejected, just as Americans have rejected Allah, the one true God.” . . .
Bin Laden added: “May your special Valentine’s Day dinner be spent at an overrated restaurant that impoverishes your purse and leaves your stomach churning with indigestible Western cuisine.”
Bin Laden did not overlook the innocuous custom of giving stuffed animals as gifts.
“The teddy bear that holds the ‘I love you’ heart does not love you at all,” Bin Laden said. “It is an unliving, unholy thing filled only with stuffing. Just as the Western infidel is not bestowed with the blessings of Allah, so shall he go unloved by the false bear.” . . .
Read the whole thing, as they say.
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