I missed this story from the April 1st issue of the Harvard Law Record (hat tip: Leiter's Law School Reports):

Harvard Law School's communications office announced today that HLS has hired every law professor in the country, solidifying its position as the preeminent law school in America.

Dean Elena Kagan said that she got the idea from recent additions to the faculty. "As soon as we'd hire one professor from, say, Columbia or Chicago," said Kagan, "he or she would suggest another prize we should grab. We hired two, then three, then finally realized we were only delaying the inevitable. . . .

Harvard completed its monopoly yesterday by hiring the final holdout, William van Alstyne, from William and Mary. Van Alstyne, who had moved to William and Mary from Duke after William and Mary agreed to hire his wife, was swayed after Harvard agreed to hire his wife, three children, 6-year-old grandchild, and his dog, Oliver Wendell Bones, who will all teach legal research and writing. . . .

Said Jack Goldsmith, who was hired by Harvard in 2004 from Virginia, "It's nice to see some of my old colleagues here." Added Goldsmith, "Also, everyone else."