The National Association of Scholars has a bunch of posts on "If I Ran the Zoo" of the modern university. The take is based on the Dr. Seuss book of the same name, with the idea being what changes each of us would make to the university if we "ran the zoo." My contribution is here. Many of the other contributions are much closer in spirit to the whimsy and cleverness of Seuss than mine. George Leef's contribution is especially Seussian.